Saturday, January 26, 2013

Confessions of a little spy

As you might already know, I,m finishing school this spring. Our class is working on the album that each of us will receive after the prom party and we were asked to bring our childhood photos. Being the world,s biggest procrastinator I put it off till the last minute, which was my mistake. I didn,t expect picking a couple of photos would take so much time.
When I started my search I came across the album where I used to store pictures that seemed to be inspiring and that,s where I got stuck.
Nowadays saving or pinning nice photos is a common thing for me but I completely forgot that I used to do the same when I was only 13. Well, not exactly the same. The pictures that I used to save differ a lot from what I save being now 4 years older. Only 4 years have passed and voila! My tastes have changed completely. Anyway, it was so nice to look back on my life and suddenly so many memories arose...
A 14 year old Vera couldn,t just live her own life and be herself. She would always find someone to admire and copy. Unable to find anyone cute enough among my classmates I switched to high school students and very quickly some of them became my... well, idols, there,s no better word. I literally worshipped them. Friendly, self-confident, wearing stylish clothes - that girls seemed so perfect! Can I say I was almost in love? Ok, not exactly but if I were a boy I would certainly fall in love.
I wanted to find out as much as possible about that charming girls and I became a little spy. I found them in social networks and saved all of their photos being afraid they could make albums private. I always tried to sit not far from them during the break because I wanted to hear their voices and sometimes I was quite successful. That girls became my fashion icons and I could trade everything to get their wardrobe. How very superficial, I know. I once bought uggs only because one of the girls, let,s call her N, had the same. I looked at her and dreamt of being at least half as beautiful as she when I grow up.
The day came when the girls that I admired so much finished school. Out of sight, out of mind but my heart still skips a beat when I see someone who reminds of them.

I,m now as old as they were and I sometimes wonder if there are any children who think my classmates and I are cute. I doubt we deserve it but who knows... 


  1. Thats just amazing!!! Your just like me! ( I thought I was the only one...) Yes, I desperately wanted their clothes, their shoes, their friends, but most of all their confidence and poise......and I always hope that I am a good role model to those little girls around me.....

    Congratulations on the end of high school!

    ps, it's thatker on instagram.....:)

    1. Thank you, Sarah :)
      Yes, I thought I was the only one too! It,s so strange that people always think they are the first to experience this or that :)

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