Thursday, February 23, 2012

Shyness

Hi, there!
You,ll never believe: it snows right now and has been snowing all the day! Ahh, I can,t wait for spring to come...
Below you,ll find some tips to overcome shyness, and in case you are not shy ( lucky you!) I hope you,ll come to understand me.

picture taken in august


Since this is a personal blog, I’m here to decide what to share with you and what to leave behind the scenes, so to say.
When I got into blogging, I didn’t think I would ever share my innermost thoughts but more and more often I feel the need to. I’m not brave enough to keep all the thoughts to myself, it’s crazy. Besides, after I had posted some texts about Wiesbaden, I feel like nothing is too personal, like I can talk about everything.
You might have already guessed that I’m a fairly shy person and I don’t see any reasons to hide it. Shyness is not necessarily good or bad; this is the quality, which has both advantages and disadvantages, but this is the aspect of my personality and I have nothing else to do but to accept it.
I used to hate myself for being shy, and that was the biggest mistake. You can’t be happy if you hate yourself: self-loathing never leads to positive results, it only leads to depression and low self-esteem. One can end up thinking he/she doesn’t deserve love and happiness.
If you tell yourself that you are hopeless – you lose. It’s risky. You may never overcome your fears if you think it’s impossible.
There is no use of blaming on society, as it will never change. Everyone is judged and criticized, and people often think shyness is the same as weakness, but in fact this is the quality, which can make you stronger.
It’s very easy. You have to accept your shyness instead of constantly fighting it. Make shyness a friend, not an enemy. I started with telling myself every day that it is the greatest gift I’m given, that it is precious. After some time I realized that accepting shyness is the best way to overcome it. While fighting it you fight with yourself, and it only causes the lack of self-confidence.
I’m shy, so why should I pretend I’m not? The worst thing is pretending to be someone you are not; it’s a complete waste of time. When you pretend you lie to yourself, not to others, because they still notice how uneasy and stressed you are.
Shyness can impair one’s life by preventing from doing all the enjoyable stuff, and the next step in overcoming it is to start doing things you never dreamed you would. This is a challenging task indeed; it takes time and effort but gives valuable experience in return. I personally often force myself to do this or that, as this is the only way for me to achieve something and I know I will be happy and satisfied afterwards; it gives me a sense of personal fulfillment. This must be the advantage of being shy: simple things and small achievements give you pleasure and you come to appreciate all the simple joys in life.
Little by little, most of the fears will go away, but you are not supposed to overcome shyness completely. Actually all people are somewhat shy and they’re ok with that. Smile and stop thinking like a victim; you are the only one responsible for your life, so don’t let fears take over it and stop you from achieving dreams and goals.

9 comments:

  1. Great post, Vera! I've also struggled with shyness, and I'm learning that, like you said, I'll never overcome it completely - but it's okay! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "The worst thing is pretending to be someone you are not" - I so agree.

    Мне кажется, что это вообще очень важно - принять себя. Со всеми недостатками и особенностями. Причём надо именно определиться где недостатки, а где особенности, потому что первые нужно по возможности исправлять, а вторыми надо гордиться. К примеру, скромность или застенчивость - это не недостаток, я считаю. Если застенчивость переходит в стеснительность, которая мешает жить - вот тогда да, надо перебарывать.

    В общем, хороший пост))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very well said Miss vera, I'm glad you are so courageous to say yes when your mind is screaming no and you are feeling quite self conscious, I have this problem when I go out I become incredibly shy.
    I love your last paragraph
    blessings to you
    Miss Rachel Hope

    ReplyDelete
  4. this picture is beautiful! it's interesting how being shy used to be a quality for a woman and how things have changed in society. I'm glad to hear you've embraced this feature and I hope you make the best of it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful photo Vera, so serene, goes beautifully with your post. Lovely writing, I think you're doing fine, and I think as you find your niche in life you'll find you can blossom out of your shell even more. Love the texture of the tree and bokeh in the background of your photo, so beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lovely pictures !
    You're a very pretty girl.

    Love, Sophie.

    http://dancingontheclouds.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, everything you say is so true. I myself am rather shy in real life too. It's hard to deal with a lot of the time, but if I just learn to accept it, as you say, then I think things would be better for me. I often find I'm beating myself up for being awkward in this conversation or blushing during that one, but it's just who I am. Thanks for the post, gives me a lot to think about!

    Kaylee
    xo

    P.S. When you are in Germany and I in France then I will come visit you! hehe :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Vera,

    It feels like a eternity since I have commented on one of your lovely posts, and I apologize deeply for that. I could make excuses and say I've been rather busy lately, but the truth I have been even lazier than I have been busy. So I'm sorry. And I haven't been completely negligent, I have been reading (and enjoying) each one of your posts.

    Anyway, enough of my laziness. I enjoyed this post so much because I can relate to it. I'm shy, too, and I think even more so when I was younger. I think shy-ness on one hand is just part of some peoples' personalities, and yet one can take it too far. I think when you're over shy it can mean you have to work on self-confidence. I find it's harder to not be shy with someone "cool" or confidant, compared to someone who looks just as awkward as you. And I also think if you're overly shy, it might mean you're focusing on yourself too much. I know I do.

    But I'm sure you're not that shy, and I think if we ever met, hopefully we wouldn't be deathly shy to each other. ;)
    Love,
    Rebekah

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for visiting my blog! I love comments, all of them are deeply appreciated! :)